Though my blue-blood erection may throb,
And go purple and red at the knob,
I will not touch an arse
Of the mercantile class:
I’m at bottom, a sexual snob!
Tag: limerick
Well groomed
Upon seeing the mistress at table,
One wouldn’t imagine her able
Of fucking the groom,
Or that thing with his broom,
In the straw, on the floor of the stable!
Bells on her toes
Though she’s rich and has cash in large sums,
And wears rings on her fingers and thumbs,
Her transcendent delight
Is to sneak out at night,
For a tradesman-like fuck in the slums.
Amuse bouche
I’m informed by reliable sources,
(And witness the spate of divorces,)
That Admiral Skinner
Goes naked at dinner,
And fucks his guests’ wives between courses!
Job description
I require these things in a servant:
She must be discreet and observant,
Must do what she’s told,
Not be overly bold,
But when called on to fuck me, be fervent!
Sunday morning
In the front pew, throughout the long sermon,
The squire’s wife squirmed in her ermine.
She grimaced and twitched,
And she scratched where it itched:
It was plain she was crawling with vermin!
The little soldier
A girl’s clitoris stands, like a sentry,
On guard at the portal of entry:
It may not let pass
The uncouth lower class,
But stands up and salutes for the gentry!
Through the keyhole
Through the keyhole such scandal one sees,
Said the butler, as smug as you please:
“I have just seen the squire
Aflame with desire,
And Cook, nude, on elbows and knees!”
Opportunity knocks
As he burst in on Madam’s seclusion,
Said Jenkins, “Forgive my intrusion,
But cook’s run amuck,
And I thought we might fuck,
While the household is still in confusion.”
Unbridled lust
Wearing nothing but reins and a saddle
Dame Edith, with chauffeur astraddle,
Her buttocks red raw,
Pranced about on the floor,
Shouting “Home James, and don’t spare the paddle!”