Perspective

“Gosh, it’s awfully big,” she said cutely…
“Too big!” she cried, quite astutely.
“Impressive… but shit…
I don’t think it will fit!”
“Oh it will…” he said. “Yes, absolutely!”

The cold shoulder

“Fuck you sir!” Not a ladylike curse…
“And your penis too!” Suitably terse.
“Put it back in your pants,”
She said looking askance…
As cocks go, though, she thought, she’d seen worse.

Vegan sex

For the want of a flesh and blood prick,
Something else, something longish and thick,
Hefty, smooth, with a bend
And a knob on its end…
A big aubergine might do the trick!