He was rude and untidy and grumpy,
She cranky, demanding and frumpy;
He farted, she snored,
Both complained they were bored,
But they still like the old rumpy-pumpy.
Tag: limerick
School rules
She’d stepped onto a slippery slope,
By allowing her boyfriend a grope:
Though she made it a rule,
Not to fuck after school,
That still gave the lad plenty of scope.
Disorderly conduct
He was charged with disorderly conduct,
When he and a young buxom blonde mucked
About in the bar,
Where she took off her bra,
Then they kissed, and a bit later on, fucked.
Predestination
A respectable woman she ain’t,
But what girl has a past free from taint?
And you only live once…
And God gave women cunts
To be fucked, not because they look quaint?
Mate's rates
When his friend came, she smiled and she beckoned;
He took his friend’s place, and went second.
It really was nice
That she let them fuck twice,
For the price of just one fuck , he reckoned!
Whispering sweet nothings
She’s a quaint anatomical freak;
She tells men her vagina can speak,
Then she giggles and strips,
And she can move her lips,
But her pussy can’t do more than squeak.
Heart in his mouth
She undresses; he stammers and gawks,
His heart thumps, his eyes hang out on stalks.
She says “What? Still half-dressed?
Shall I help with the rest?”
“Yes, and don’t start without me!” he squawks.
The earth moved
Gasping, panting, she struggled to speak;
She convulsed, though exhausted and weak.
As he roared in orgasm,
She arched with his spasm,
And came with an answering shriek!
A different complexion
By the lamplight, he sees, as he peeks,
Her full lips and her plump, rosy cheeks,
Her long, curly, dark hair;
He continues to stare:
It’s a glimpse of her face that he seeks!
Resignation
Her expression was bored and resigned,
As her boss had his way from behind:
When asked “How was your day?”
By her mother, she’d say
“Oh, you know. Just the usual grind.”