When young vikings would gather, they met
To bump heads, and to blather, and get
Drunk on ale or mead,
Bed a wench, splash their seed
‘Twixt her loins, in a lather of sweat!
Tag: limerick
Wide eyes and wide thighs
‘Twas a thing to astound and bewilder!
The way that it grew! How it filled her!
Still half yet to go!
Quite impossible … though…
She’d damn get it all in, if it killed her!
Yesterday’s rooster
He was grumpy, pot-bellied and grizzled,
But strong as a bull, and long-pizzled.
Back then, in his youth,
Girls had swooned! Now, in truth,
His cock twitched at best, dribbled and fizzled.
La Paloma
The term prostitute seemed a misnomer;
They danced, the band played “La Paloma”.
He sniffed in the air…
From her damp underwear,
Her disturbingly musky aroma!
Jekyll and Hyde
Doctor Jekyll’s wool suit was bespoke,
Educated, refined, when he spoke,
But his mad, darker side,
Ugly, violent Hyde
Was a rather less likeable bloke!
Squeamish
Just the thought of sex caused him distress;
Ugly sounds, and the smells and the mess!
All that squeaking and squishiness,
Yeastiness, fishiness;
God! Let her please not undress!
Flowers in her hair
She’d tuned in, and turned on, and dropped out,
Burned her bra! Her big boobies flopped out.
Joined a commune and all;
Dope, free love, had a ball!
One, two, three flower-children popped out!
Left-over hippy
Grey-haired, pretty, a left-over hippy,
Great tits still, spaced out, often trippy,
Nude most of the time,
But, hey! That ain’t no crime!
(Though, in winter, a little bit nippy!)
Intense
I’ve just never been one much to camp;
Sleeping rough in the cold and the damp!
Man and woman weren’t meant
To make love in a tent,
Risking leeches and spiders and cramp!
Kissing and making up
Being nude rather got his attention!
She stroked him to prove her intention;
They’d had a wee tiff,
And she’d thought “Well, what if
We just root, to relieve all the tension?”