Poor Matilda’s a bit of a frump,
And her buttocks and thighs are too plump.
She has pendulous tits,
And she’s subject to fits,
Still, she’s worth the occasional hump!
Tag: limerick
The smell of roses
A maid’s loveliest part doth exude,
To the air at large odours subdued,
And this same secret place,
Irrespective of race,
Like a dainty pink rosebud is hued!
Sylvan interlude
‘Neath the shade of the old eucalyptus,
We lay with the girls who’d unzipped us,
Who teased with their lips
At the sensitive tips,
Of the stalks with which nature equipped us!
A gentleman
The train swayed; she was nodding and dozing,
Not knowing what she was exposing.
I did try my best
Not to stare at her breast,
Through the blouse she’d been careless in closing!
Natural blonde?
There’s a pretty young lady, from Denmark,
Red-headed, then ash-blonde and then dark.
A fortunate few
Know her natural hue,
And they give her a nine-out-of-ten mark.
It’s in her jeans
An attractive young lady from Cheltenham
Wore jeans and looked terribly svelte in ‘em.
The fit was ungodly,
They made her walk oddly:
She liked, though, the way that she felt in ‘em!
Tropic island
My idea of transcendent calm
Is to lie ‘neath a coconut palm,
Sipping milk from the nut,
With my hand on the butt,
Of the hula-girl under my arm.
Guessing game
Within decency’s scrupulous bounds,
When a girl flaunts her huge buxom mounds,
It’s quite fun to assay,
By what methods one may,
Their net weight in both kilos and pounds.
Feathered friend
An old maid called Elizabeth Barrett,
Dines Saturday nights with her parrot,
On sunflower seeds
And a salad of weeds,
And a nice economical claret.
Less is more
It was not her short dress that appealed
Nor even the charms it revealed
The thing that I find
Occupying my mind
Is the part that it barely concealed!