It was just as the bride had been dreading,
All through the reception and wedding:
Her blood on the sheet
Of the honeymoon suite,
And his semen all over the bedding!
Tag: honeymoon
The consummation
Honeymoons are just like this, she guessed…
They’d been fucking all night without rest…
God! How nice it would be,
Just to get up and pee,
Have a shower, a shit and get dressed.
The bride stripped bare
In the honeymoon suite, while undressing,
She said to herself, “Well, I’m guessing,
He’ll want his root now,
But he’s drunk, anyhow,
And might not get it up. What a blessing!”
For better or worse
Well, he’s certainly unprepossessing,
She thought, while the groom was undressing.
Except for his cock!
The young bride gasped in shock,
And then fainted, poor thing! (A kind blessing!)
Lyme Regis
The cad took the girl down to Lyme Regis,
(The boarding house, although prestigious,
Still turned a blind eye
To the honeymoon lie,)
And abused her in ways quite egregious!
For better or worse
She was game, the young bride, quite intrepid;
She knew that the Lord was her shepherd,
But though he took charge,
His cock wasn’t that large…
And his lovemaking sort of, well, tepid.
Best man
On the honeymoon, as she undressed,
The young bride, feeling guilty, confessed
That she’d fucked the best man,
Once, by chance, not by plan,
And the groom might come off second best!
The mother of invention
In the past, when a woman was wed,
She’d be later escorted to bed,
And the stained wedding sheet
Would be hung in the street,
As a proof she was virgin, and bled.
Though all knew the bride’s blood must be shed
Many brides, I suspect, and it’s said,
Fooled their husbands, of course,
With some raspberry sauce,
Or some wine, or most anything red.