A young woman has filed for divorce,
On the grounds that her husband is coarse,
Since he had her one day
In an unchristian way,
After dipping his dick in hot sauce!
Tag: anal
The match-girl
In the slush and the wind-driven snow,
With the temperature fourteen below,
Knelt the match-girl, so numb,
That the prick in her bum,
She felt no more than if she’d said no.
News from the front
An unfortunate girl called Maria
Developed the dread gonorrhoea:
Her husband took fright
When she told him her plight,
And discreetly advanced to the rear.
The flip side
There’s a whole new erogenous zone
That’s revealed when the lady lies prone:
The alternative passage,
(Plus clitoral massage)
Is nice, but a bugger alone.
Heavens to Betsy
Betsy Jones is no sexual sluggard,
Prefers sex, in fact, when it’s rugged.
She likes being eaten,
And tied up and beaten
And doesn’t mind much being buggered.
The work-around
“Oh you cannot put that there,” she said,
“Until after the day we are wed,
For I’m saving that niche,
But you can, if you wish,
Put your thing in my bottom instead!”
Ill repute
Lady Sarah Smythe-Jones, by repute,
Leads a life, in a word, dissolute:
She drinks only champagne,
Likes her sex mixed with pain,
And quite likes the alternative route.
Household discipline
On pain of disgrace and dismissal,
One’s maid should respond to one’s whistle,
And, lifting her smock,
Part her cheeks for one’s cock,
Or submit to the cane, strap or bristle.
The help
Said my butler, the soul of discretion,
Composed both of voice and expression,
“Milord, might I look,
While you’re fucking with cook?
And a word, sir: she fancies it Grecian.”
Magnanimity
In the clipped tones befitting her class,
Said the Duchess, face down in the grass,
“Though you’re hardly my equal,
By way of a sequel
To straight sex, I give you my arse!”