Vegan sex

For the want of a flesh and blood prick,
Something else, something longish and thick,
Hefty, smooth, with a bend
And a knob on its end…
A big aubergine might do the trick!

Faux pas

Look, she said, I don’t want to seem priggish…
Your conduct, however’s been piggish…
To tear off my dress…
Damned outrageous… but yes,
As you quite rightly said, your cock’s biggish.