In the Members’ Bar after the races,
In jockey’s cap, corset with laces,
Her g-string and boots,
To wolf-whistles and hoots,
Miss Boyd-Parker was put through her paces.
Touch
A young fellow who does what he pleases
Treats lightly the social diseases:
He doesn’t mind much
About physical touch
But he handles girls’ panties with tweezers.
Warmth
There’s a shy little fellow, called Norm,
Whose particular quirk takes this form:
With giggles and snickers
He pilfers girls’ knickers,
If possible while they’re still warm!
Keeping cool
That delightful young lady, Miss Watt,
Wears no knickers whenever it’s hot.
In the summer and spring
She wears hardly a thing,
And she shaves off the hair on her twat.
Risk averse
Mister Cohen was always meticulous,
Almost, one might say, ridiculous:
Shy of disease,
He was never at ease
Till he took down the lady’s particulars.
Soixante neuf
Monsieur Bidet maintains a wee maison
For weekend illicit liaison:
After roti de boeuf
C’est toujours soixante-neuf,
With his beret and socks and pince-nez on!
Breezy
Since she doesn’t wear knickers, Louise
Enjoys all through the day a cool breeze.
For a quickie at work
It’s a wonderful lurk,
And it saves her some time when she pees.
French letters
When I asked could Miss Smith take a letter,
She said “If it makes you feel better,
But really, without,
The old dull in-and-out
Is more friendly somehow, and much wetter!”
Night
A disease of the organs internal
Affects a bewhiskered old colonel.
He’s also insane
Which might help to explain
His unsavoury habits nocturnal.
Coquette
A young girl, mostly shy and coquettish,
Evinces a singular fetish:
She has to be stripped,
And be tied up and whipped,
Before she becomes at all wettish!