Far be it from me to disparage
The fine institution of marriage,
But let it be said,
Many girls who are wed,
On the whole, would prefer a miscarriage!
Watercooler gossip
When Miss Martin leapt onto my desk,
And performed a risque arabesque,
In her knickers and stockings,
She thought she was shocking,
But I found it rather grotesque.
Down the rabbit hole
If one’s prone to nonsensical chatter,
One’s clothes strewn with edible matter;
If one goes about
With one’s genitals out,
One is probably mad as a hatter!
Go slow
At the act of love, be not too brisk,
It is fraught with lamentable risk.
Indiscriminate fucking,
With kicking and bucking,
Might cause one to rupture a disc.
B&S Ball
One late Saturday night, young Miss Brazier
Was made love to, outside, by a grazier.
He kept on his hat,
She’s quite certain of that,
But the rest is a great deal hazier!
On the patio
I don’t mind if a girl likes her booze:
She’s less likely, when asked, to refuse.
She might give you fellatio,
There, on the patio.
Nice. But watch out if she spews!
Crazy Annie
Crazy Annie should never touch booze:
Just one drink, and her cunt starts to ooze:
Given half a glass more,
She’ll be down on the floor,
Being fucked by the fellows, in twos!
Root and branch
There was a young lady called Bayer,
Renowned as a bit of a player:
This great disrepute
She had earned root by root,
And increased it then, layer by layer.
Fly fishing
One should never attempt to go angling
With certain appendages dangling:
There’s always the chance,
If one’s not wearing pants,
Of one’s balls getting tangled and strangling!
Chauvinism
As a lover, she’s keen, if not zealous,
As mistress, possessive and jealous.
She’s not very bright,
But her body’s alright:
(I confess to some chauvinist malice).