An unfortunate girl called Maria
Developed the dread gonorrhoea:
Her husband took fright
When she told him her plight,
And discreetly advanced to the rear.
Greased lightning
A young lady I know is quite manic,
Her manner of fucking galvanic:
She starts at a pace,
Like it’s some sort of race,
And from then on, just hang and don’t panic!
Double trouble
There was a young lady called Lynne,
Who had an identical twin:
Although both liked to screw,
A chap never knew who
He was fucking until he got in!
Daredevil
Though the sign at the entrance did warn her;
“Beware! Don’t have sex in the sauna!”
She did for a dare,
Being devil-may-care,
With the chap who’s her principal mourner!
The threat
“You will not dare, I hope,” said Lorette,
“To do things that you’d later regret:
Though I wish you no harm,
I shall break your right arm,
If you try to do more than just pet!
Second time lucky?
An unfortunate woman called Laura
Made love to a fellow who tore her.
Said he, “It’s much better,
The second time’s wetter.”
Quite true, but it just made her sorer!
Camel-toe
A young girl, rather drunk, and stripped bare,
Rode a camel bare-back for a dare:
She collected her bet,
But she can’t sit down yet,
She’s so sore round her never-mind-where!
Knee trembler
When a lady is cursed with knock-knees,
It makes fucking a bit of a squeeze:
If one gets in at all,
It could cost you a ball,
And God help you, should one of you sneeze!
Institutionalised
I think marriage a fine institution,
And often the only solution.
For girls, what remains
If they lack looks or brains,
Is the convent, or else prostitution!
Early birds
In the Saturday night hurly-burly,
One might meet a willing young girlie,
And whisk her away
For a grope or a lay,
But the best ones are mostly gone early!