Though he tried out his best corny pick-up,
The girl whom he fancied his dick up
Said “No thanks. Get fucked,
I’m a bloke, nipped and tucked.”
Best laid plans tend to oft strike a hiccup!
Gin fling
He was named, shamed, and charged with assault,
But, in fairness, it wasn’t his fault:
They were both drunk on gin,
He was more out than in,
When the girl got cold feet and called halt.
Tooth and claw
She resisted, and fought tooth and claw;
She protested, and blasphemed and swore,
Till he got her tied up,
Naked, sunny-side-up,
Which, as cheating, of course, we deplore!
Love's wounds
A girl’s first fuck involves blood and gore:
When it’s over, her cunt might be sore,
But love’s wounds quickly heal,
And girls mostly feel
They wish that they’d done it before!
Twat
English girls call their pussy a twat,
From the Norse word for cleft, slit or slot.
It is not pronounced “twat”,
As in “don’t kick the cat”;
British women should know what they’ve got!
Stroppy
The girl had good cause to be stroppy;
Frustrated, her fanny all sloppy,
And he, this great dork,
After all his big talk,
With his dick bloody useless and floppy!
Technical virgin
Her claim, frankly, was hard to discount,
That she’d managed to make him dismount,
When he’d barely begun,
And, when all’s said and done,
Just the knob getting in doesn’t count!
The tingle
She was eighteen, a virgin and single;
The boy made her lower parts tingle.
The kissing was great,
And she just couldn’t wait
For their sexual juices to mingle.
Pink
She was randy, immoral and fickle;
She loved a good internal tickle.
A touch or sly wink
Made her breathless and pink,
And a kiss made her warm pussy trickle.
The rose
When a woman’s a joy to behold
Better still if she’s lusty and bold,
With a cunt like a glove,
To fall into in love,
Round which petal-like labia fold.