A young man, deep in love with Miss Kirsty,
Thought “Ask her out!” thinking, at worst, he
Might get a knock-back,
But he hadn’t the knack,
So he didn’t dare do it, then, durst he?
Bending the rules
Though she’s cute, she’s a bit of a prude;
Doesn’t like being seen in the nude.
She won’t go all the way,
But there’s much, one must say,
That the line she draws doesn’t exclude!
A matter of definition
“I’m no virgin!” she said, with some cheek.
“Do you think I’m some sort of a freak?”
Though she hadn’t, in fact,
Quite completed the act,
It was near enough true, so to speak!
Breaking the ice
Stop! she shouted, and then even chillier,
Sir, you are over-familiar.
Fair go, he said.
We’re halfway into bed,
And a nice friendly root wouldn’t kill ya!
The urgency of love
She thought only of sex. So apalling!
Love, then, this in which she was falling?
Her breast ached with lust;
She would fuck him! She must!
God! How whorish! She’d missed her damn calling!
Not very gallant
He escorted her home from the gala,
The concert by young Mister Mahler.
She’d drunk too much wine…
The unscrupulous swine
Fucked her senseless, poor thing, in the parlour!
Vertical smile
He bent closer and sniffed it and peered:
A mouth with an upside-down beard!
Pink, squishy and soft;
The lips moved when she coughed.
It was all quite decidedly weird!
Interface problem
Their relationship, once in the pink…
Lots of sex, all it took was a wink…
They still rooted, and stuff,
But it wasn’t enough;
They just sort of, like, felt out of sync.
Donating her body to science
It was not his intent to besmirch
The good name of the girl, though the church,
Of course, turned her away.
She was just a good lay;
It was more in the way of research!
Broken in
Well he knew she was no longer chaste;
She’d been screwed and abandoned, disgraced…
That she’d rooted some toff,
Not one bit put him off;
Such sweet crumpet should ne’er go to waste!