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Pete's Limericks

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Pete's Limericks

Category: AO

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Friends

When a man and a woman are friends,
If they fuck or not mostly depends
On how horny they are,
And how drunk, and how far
They imagine that friendship extends.

Author adminPosted on June 30, 2011April 25, 2020Categories AOTags drunk, friends, fuck, horny, limerick

Whatever

It began with an innocent hug;
Then they kissed, and she gave him a tug.
When he managed to say,
“Shall we go all the way?”
She replied, “If you like,” with a shrug.

Author adminPosted on June 30, 2011April 25, 2020Categories AOTags all the way, limerick, masturbation, tug

Preamble

“Though I bear you the utmost affection,”
He said, “if you have no objection,
I’ll now call you bitch,
And do bad things, for which
I confess an extreme predilection!”

Author adminPosted on June 30, 2011February 3, 2020Categories AOTags bitch, limerick, S&M

Such is life

He’d had one chance at life and cocked up…
He’d been scared he’d be bloody locked up!
It was sheer bad luck…
Two young kids, their first fuck,
And she got herself fucking knocked up!

Author adminPosted on June 30, 2011April 28, 2020Categories AOTags cock, cocked up, fuck, knocked up, limerick, pregnancy, under-age, virgin, virginity

The off-chance

A girl goes to the pub with a plan;
To attract a nice gullible man,
Who might pay for her drinks,
Whom she’ll kiss, if she thinks
He might fancy a fuck, if he can.

Author adminPosted on June 30, 2011April 28, 2020Categories AOTags drinks, fuck, kiss, limerick, pub

Human resources

When Victorian wives wore a corset,
To fuck them, a man had to force it;
All rather a bore,
Much more fun with a whore,
So men often preferred to outsource it.

Author adminPosted on June 30, 2011April 28, 2020Categories AOTags corset, force, fuck, limerick, whore, wives

Fireglow

They were fucking in front of the fire;
The warmth made them flush and perspire.
Their bellies were wet,
Slick with each other’s sweat:
With each thrust, he slapped into her higher.

Author adminPosted on June 30, 2011April 28, 2020Categories AOTags bellies, belly, flush, fucking, limerick, perspire, sweat, thrust

Wake-up call

It does give one a bit of a shake-up,
One hung-over morning, to wake up,
With some girl, quite nude,
Whom one probably screwed,
Lying there with bad hair and smudged make-up.

Author adminPosted on June 30, 2011April 28, 2020Categories AOTags hung over, limerick, nude, screwed

Certain things

Certain things that she did quite appealed:
The way she unzipped me and kneeled,
The way she undressed,
But undoubtedly best,
Was the way, when she came, that she squealed!

Author adminPosted on June 9, 2011April 28, 2020Categories AOTags limerick, undressed, unzipped

Big bang theory

Though it’s true her proportions are ample,
Her big boobs and bum, for example,
In terms of a fuck,
It’s more bang for your buck,
And she’s happy to give a free sample.

Author adminPosted on May 30, 2011April 22, 2020Categories AOTags boobs, bum, fuck, limerick

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