Said a young man, intent upon lechery,
“Come up and look at my etchery.”
Not much impressed,
The young lady addressed
Said “Tomorrow perhaps, but not yet cheri!”
Category: AO
Adults only
Underarmour
A fastidious lady called Kay
Regards sex with a certain dismay:
Not her moral beliefs,
But her girdle and briefs,
And her panty-hose get in the way.
Tigress
Though her immodest pose was inviting,
And touching herself was exciting,
Though horny as hell,
I knew only too well
That to to fuck her risked scratching and biting.
Guilt trip
Having plunged himself in to the hilt,
He was seized by irrational guilt,
And though firmly resolved,
His libido dissolved
And his untimely sperm-spurt was spilt.
Phobia
Every time Howard’s sex-organ firms
He gets anxious, and fidgets and squirms:
He can’t contemplate sex,
So intense and complex
Is his deep morbid fear of germs!
The lady at her toilet
With her long silky hair in loose coils,
She bathes nightly in Indian oils,
Anoints her vagina
With perfumes from China:
Oh, fortunate man she thus spoils!
Belittlement
Mister Treverton’s ego was brittle,
Because his poor dick was so little:
His girlfriend, in fact,
Rather lacking in tact,
Said she’d rather her finger and spittle.
A guiding hand
With her knees by her ears, the bride
Placed a hand on her husband to guide:
Though he had the idea,
And prodded quite near,
He couldn’t quite get it inside.
Faint hope and chastity
The knight’s wife in her chastity belt,
In the church, where she piously knelt,
Where she’d gone to confess,
Cursed her God, nonetheless,
For the lot in this life she’d been dealt.
For the blacksmith such passion she felt,
When she saw him her poor heart would melt,
Pain she could not assuage,
With her cunt in a cage,
And what’s more, she was certain she smelt!
Days are lonely, knights are cold
Though Sir John was a chivalrous charmer,
His life, thought his wife, was all drama:
All banquets and battles,
And squeaking and rattles,
And clanking about in his armour.
Though he swore he’d let no villain harm her,
His wife, more prosaic and calmer,
Wished, just to herself,
She’d been left on the shelf,
Or gone off and just married a farmer.