AO – Page 234 – Pete's Limericks

Animal magnetism

Of finesse he was simply devoid.
She perhaps should have been more annoyed.
Just wham! Bam! The big brute!
A rough, animal root,
She’d surprisingly, though, quite enjoyed!

Perspicacity

She came fast, with a guttural groan,
Sighed, and said “That was close to the bone,
To have called me a slut!
Which I am, frankly, but
How on earth could you ever have known?”

Curious

Well, she thought. He’s a curious fella!
Don’t get out too much, by his pallor.
The whips and the chains?
Guess that sort of explains
Why I’m locked in this cage, in his cellar!

The apron strings

“Yeah,” she said. ” It seems kind of obscene,
A big lad like him, almost sixteen,
Being still on the tit,
But you’ve got to admit,
Sometimes boys are a bastard to wean!”

Coming of age

“Pa, he’s savin’ his skin I expec’,
Lyin’ skunk. He’s my brother, but heck!
He din’t fuck me, just watch,
But he et out my crotch!
He was in it right up to his neck!

Non-discrimination

Seem’s like nothin’ that girl wouldn’t screw!
Blokes, of course, chicks-with-dicks…don’t mind who!
Old men, dykes, little boys,
All those big rubber toys,
Donkeys, dogs… damn! The whole fuckin zoo!

Marital bliss

Being married, mate, sex is on tap,
His mate said. Lunchtime root, then a nap!
Or, you’re havin’ a drink,
And she’s there, at the sink,
Just say “Oi! Suck my cock, love!” SNAP! SNAP!

Test pilot

Once astride this machine he’d devised,
She was pleasantly, frankly, surprised,
Well, once over the shock,
That its piston-cranked cock
Felt so good, though prodigiously sized!

Similes

On the stage, the entrancing young stripper
Enticingly pulled down her zipper…
Arse cheeks like full moons,
Tits like down-filled balloons,
And a cunt like a kid leather slipper!