Throw her back

A young mermaid, washed up in the kelp…
A sly cove heard her seal-like yelp…
Though he searched, back and front,
For some sort of a cunt…
“Can you talk?” he asked. “Can’t you damn help?”

Shit happens

Did he not think it felt a bit tight…
That, somehow, something wasn’t quite right?
Was it just a mistake,
Being not quite awake?
Or he buggered her out of plain spite!

Rude awakening

At the party she drank too much booze,
And lay down on the couch for a snooze…
She woke up oozing cum
From her pussy and bum,
Silly girl, at a loss to know whose!

Spread

“Get your arse on the table and squat!
Spread your cheeks… let me see what you’ve got!”
He said. “Yeah, spread ’em wide,
So a man can decide
Which to fuck, your butthole, or your slot!”