World's largest collection of original limericks
She caught sight of the size of his stalk;
Her eyes bulged, and she let out a squawk!
Later, telling her sister,
“I said”, she said, “Mister,
To fuck that I’d give my right nork!
Sister Frances, while at her devotions,
Was prone to erotic emotions;
How painfully odd,
Being married to God!
One of many strange Catholic notions!
He could pay for sex, being quite wealthy,
But chose to be furtive and stealthy;
Not gifts and seduction,
But drugs, threats, abduction,
To fuck girls strange ways, and unhealthy.
Her mum said, should the question arise,
That a fair indication of size
Is to look at men’s thumbs,
So that, when the time comes,
A big cock won’t be such a surprise.
The poor girl, she’d tried hard not to yield.
Her fate, though, was pretty much sealed
The moment they kissed,
Then she couldn’t resist,
As the cum on her panties revealed!
Not a 10, but she’d do in a pinch.
Half undressed, they went into a clinch,
Then he hitched her astride,
Pulled her panties aside,
And he worked his cock in, inch by inch!
She danced helluva fine hootchy kootchy!
Her g string was gen-yoo-ine Gucci.
Between sets, she’d cruise,
Sit on laps, drink some booze,
And for ten bucks, she’d get real smoochy!
Yes, she said,I’m a lingerie model.
Good money, a bit of a doddle.
Just root the designer,
Then wax your vagina,
Smile nicely and try not to waddle!
A nude picture on Snapchat, a joke.
Well, he’d seemed like a nice enough bloke,
But things started to spiral;
Her pussy went viral,
She found out next day when she woke.