Naked wench, she was certainly comely!
The damn ninny gaped at her dumbly,
Then unzipped his fly,
Looked her straight in the eye,
And just jerked himself off, rather rumly!
Author: pete
At arm’s length
He was boastfully, cockily proud
Of his being so hugely endowed;
Girls would goggle and strip,
And he’d work in the tip,
Which was all his dimensions allowed!
The goose and the gander
Women too have their conjugal rights…
Though they reached no great sensual heights,
And though no raving beauty,
He still did his duty…
It helped keep him warm, those cold nights!
Sabbatical
Wretched, treacherous, lecherous priest!
When she cried, his lust only increased!
In her prayers, she thanked God
That the randy old sod
Didn’t fuck her on Sundays at least.
Love and sex in the real world
Not at all like those chick-lit romances!
A victim of strange circumstances,
She’s forced to admit
She might have to submit
To his rather indecent advances!
The call of the wild
The relationship’s gone a bit stale,
She thought. Bloody typical male!
You root them, she’d found,
Soon they’re sniffing around
For new pussy. Damn pricks! Massive fail!
Poor cow
“All this shit from one stupid damn screw!
Baby vomit and piss, baby poo!
My nice tits turned to udders!”
She whimpers and shudders.
Oh fuck! Fucking hell! Fucking moo!”
Self-restraint
She walked round the house mostly undressed;
Flashed her neighbour some arse or some breast.
He was awfully cute!
She’d have loved a nice root,
But best not, not to foul her own nest.
Je ne sais quoi
Although women are mostly homogenous,
Some, in whom something endogenous
Helps them surpass
Plain old tits, pussy, arse,
Are just all-over bloody erogenous!
Father knows best
“Well, my son, she’s a beautiful bride,”
Said his dad, “but still, cast your net wide.
She’s a good fuck, I know;
Keep your eyes open, though,
For the chance of a bit on the side!”