“I’ve been raped!” she exclaimed when he found her,
To Constable Murphy, the bounder,
Who broke up the mob,
And then finished the job,
With his seven-inch-long quarter-pounder!
Author: admin
Contra deal
An unscrupulous lawyer called Crewes
Made an offer she couldn’t refuse,
To a girl on her knees,
Who could not pay his fees,
And had nought but her virtue to lose.
Accessory
A young lawyer, we’ll call Bernadette,
In a lather of sexual sweat,
Took the matter in hand,
(Viz: the masculine gland),
With intention to aid and abet!
Stitched up
Charged with rape, a young man was acquitted,
When blithely the plaintiff admitted,
(Insensitive bitch),
That, not dropping a stitch,
Throughout all, she had silently knitted!
Ruptured disc
At the act of love, be not too brisk,
and at all times, beware of the risk;
Indiscriminate fucking,
With kicking and bucking,
May cause one to rupture a disc.
Candidiasis 2
There’s an awful infection called thrush,
Which makes sufferers constantly blush,
When they’re driven to scratch
In the depths of their thatch,
With a fingernail, chopstick or brush.
Scabies
It’s a dreadful contagious thing, scabies;
You’ll get it, no ifs, buts or maybes,
From being too close
To a girl with a dose,
Who may also have herpes and tabes.
Orthopaedic surgery
A surgeon of some reputation
Fell foul of intense litigation;
An innocent slip
Made a right below hip
Of a left below knee amputation.
Sexually transmitted diseases
Other people’s small parts may drip pus,
With a lot of concomitant fuss;
It’s a nuisance, of course,
Which engenders remorse
In those poor folk concerned (never us!)
Pediculosis pubis 2
It detracts from the fun of one’s vice
If the lady sets too high a price,
Or if some nasty bitch
Makes one’s genitals itch
With a dose of the dreaded crab-lice