A young lady from Badgery Creek
Stepped outside late one night, for a leak.
When she squatted, the grass
Sort of tickled her arse,
So she did it each night for a week!
Month: December 2024
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Given two girls, between whom to choose,
Pick the slut; she has nothing to lose.
She’ll do things nice girls don’t,
There are few things she won’t.
Sluts are nice, and so easy to use!
Getting to the point
Said my dad, “Lad, seduction’s an art:
There are three ways to win a girl’s heart.
You can say it with flowers,
Or verse, which takes hours,
Or just say “Lie down, legs apart!”
Well, well
There’s a naughty young girl called Adelle,
Who does things about which she can’t tell,
But the scandal is not
What she does in the cot,
But the fact that she does it so well!
Give thanks
That depressing old fart, Francis Xavier
Made up this code of behaviour:
Self mortification,
And no masturbation.
For wet dreams, give thanks to your saviour.
The horses of the apocalyse
Have mercy, dear God, on this sinner,
(Albeit, Lord, just a beginner!)
Look down with your grace:
Bless this horse with a place,
And if possible make it a winner.
Catholic or careless
“It’s not fair!” Claire complained, with a pout,
“After going for so long without!
A few moments of bliss,
And a girl comes to this,
And me cath’lic, and somewhat devout!”
The oyster
That most sensuous shellfish, the oyster,
Is never consumed in the cloister:
It wakes base desires
In bishops and friars,
And nuns’ inner sanctums wax moister!
The image of god
Sister Anne to her God is not nigher,
Since baring, for all to admire,
Her organs of sex to see,
Writhing in ecstasy,
Plunging two fingers in higher!
Mortification of the flesh
For a brother consigned to a mission,
The Pope may allow some coition,
With good christian men,
Or with girls, now and then
In the specified boring position.