One should not undertake circumcision,
Except with the utmost precision;
A negligent slip
Of the knife round the tip
Leaves one precious small chance of revision!
Month: December 2024
Scleroderma
There was a young lady from Burma
Whose breasts became firmer and firmer,
Her skin, too, was tight,
And her hands were a fright;
The poor lass, alas, had scleroderma.
Transillumination of breast lumps
Any girl with a lump in her breast,
Perhaps found when said breast is caressed,
If it shrinks from the light,
Though the thought turn her white,
Should, by rights , get the thing off her chest.
Bougainvillea
There’s a drug from the plant bougainvillea
Which alters your internal milieu;
Take it in tea
And you’ll publicly pee,
Take your clothes off, or something far sillier!
Enigma
An age-old enigma has been
Whether kidneys came first or the bean;
In answer the best is
They both look like testes,
The description of which is obscene.
Analgesic nephropathy
A young housewife who ate APCs
And whose kidneys have died by degrees,
Lives on haemodialysis
And sends for analysis
Whatever, whenever she pees.
Aortic stenosis
One’s pulse may become anacrotic,
Which doesn’t mean quaint or quixotic;
It means that you’re ill,
You can tell by the thrill,
And your poor old aorta’s stenotic.
Miss Moxham
Said Miss Moxham, appealingly yawning,
“I wake up so horny each morning:
You’d better watch out
And not wave it about,
Or you’ll find yourself fucked without warning!”
Cherry liquer
Having got herself drunk, but not very,
On one little glassful of sherry,
She cheekily giggled,
And sexily wriggled,
And offered the waiter her cherry!
Tully
A disgusting young fellow from Tully
Made love to a girl in a gully:
Though damn poor excuse,
She was known to be loose,
And had no reputation to sully!