The cold shoulder

“Fuck you sir!” Not a ladylike curse…
“And your penis too!” Suitably terse.
“Put it back in your pants,”
She said looking askance…
As cocks go, though, she thought, she’d seen worse.

Vegan sex

For the want of a flesh and blood prick,
Something else, something longish and thick,
Hefty, smooth, with a bend
And a knob on its end…
A big aubergine might do the trick!

Faux pas

Look, she said, I don’t want to seem priggish…
Your conduct, however’s been piggish…
To tear off my dress…
Damned outrageous… but yes,
As you quite rightly said, your cock’s biggish.