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Pete's Limericks

World's largest collection of original limericks

Pete's Limericks

Month: October 2019

The queen and the peasant

The queen eyed off the handsome young vassal.
The king’s cock hung limp as a tassel…
A sham of a marriage…
She called “Stop the carriage!
Guard! Fetch this man up to the castle!

Author adminPosted on October 13, 2019October 13, 2019Categories AOTags limerick, limp, marriage, royalty

Salivating

Her young pussy, her tight little slit,
Once warmed up with his finger and spit,
To his pleasant surprise
Soon expanded in size,
To become quite an excellent fit!

Author adminPosted on October 13, 2019Categories AOTags limerick, pussy, slit, spit

Red neck blues

So, her trailer-home ain’t nothin’ flash,
And the town women call her white trash…
Part-time hookin’s good pay.
Work all night, sleep all day.
Chicken, whisky, and plenty of cash!

Author adminPosted on October 13, 2019Categories AOTags hooker, limerick, prostitution

Love’s labours lost

She’d left home, seeking fortune and fame,
Which, like love, sad to say, never came.
She’d had plenty of men,
Some who’d paid, now and then,
Her dark secret, her innermost shame!

Author adminPosted on October 13, 2019Categories AOTags limerick, love, prostitution

Internal affairs

As she wrote late that night in her journal,
“Who’d ever have thought the old Colonel
Had such a big prick,
Or would give her a lick,
Before whacking it up her internal?”

Author adminPosted on October 13, 2019Categories AOTags big cock, big prick, lick, limerick

Yankee go home

She was quite understandably cranky.
“Damn tourist! Big, fat, ugly Yankee!
Assuming that she
Would have done it for free!”
She said, spitting his cum in her hanky.

Author adminPosted on October 13, 2019Categories AOTags cum, fellatio, limerick, Yankee

Living dangerously

Long and bent, and as thick as her arm…
Like a donkey’s she’d seen on a farm!
Quite a job just to suck!
And the thought of a fuck…
Might it not do a woman great harm?

Author adminPosted on October 13, 2019Categories AOTags big cock, fuck, limerick, suck

The serpent in the garden

His cock looked like a big ugly snake!
She felt faint and she started to shake…
And still not fully hard!
Do cocks come by the yard?
And how much of its length can she take?

Author adminPosted on October 13, 2019Categories AOTags big cock, limerick

Fire sale

She wants cock, doesn’t mind too much whose…
Her hot cunt is beginning to ooze!
Does a girl have to beg?
Bend and spread? Cock a leg?
What the fuck does a man have to lose?

Author adminPosted on October 13, 2019Categories AOTags cock, cunt, limerick, wet cunt

Bang for her buck

She’s not tight, even overly thrifty,
But gosh! Her new vibrator’s nifty!
Nice size, lots of speeds;
All that any girl needs,
When she’s horny. And change from a fifty!

Author adminPosted on October 10, 2019Categories AOTags horny, limerick, vibrator

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