July 2018 – Page 10 – Pete's Limericks

Bondage for beginners

Fluffy-handcuffed, blindfolded, she begs
“Oh my goodness! No!No! Not the pegs!
And spanked too, I suppose?
Yes, but not where it shows!
On my bottom please, not on my legs!

Centrefold

Said her agent “It might not dismay
You to have to fuck me, but this may,
That you will have to screw
The photographer too,
If you want to be Penthouse Miss May.”

First love

“Well, of course, true, it’s not the worst fate,
To be fucked on one’s very first date,
Just a jolly surprise!”
She said, love in her eyes.
“And the root, I must say, was first-rate!”

Camera obscura

Playing fantasies, lewd and unfettered,
He watched her each night, silhouetted
Against her drawn blind,
(If she knew, would she mind?)
Till the front of his trousers was wetted!

Transfixed

A bit sooky, a weeper and wailer,
Her face had gone suddenly paler.
She watched his cock grow,
Sobbing “Gosh! Now I know
Why the girls call you Brad the Impaler!”

Indefatigable

She was one damn insatiable wench!
A libido a man couldn’t quench!
She’d take on the whole team,
Till they ran out of steam,
Then take on the reserves off the bench!

Virtual reality

Her soft tits, her lips, so real-seeming!
Oh shit! Not again! Only dreaming.
He sobbed, as he lay,
His mind stuck on REPLAY,
And his hard little penis live-streaming!

Ripping yarn

The girl’s tears, her forcible stripping!
The sound of her underwear ripping!
The hiss and the crack
Of the lash on her back!
Oh God! Yes! How he loved a good whipping!

The hand of god

They’re all hypocrites, most of them wowsers!
They spend half their lives on their browsers,
One hand on the mouse,
In the dark, in their house,
And the other one stuck down their trousers!