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Pete's Limericks

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Pete's Limericks

Month: December 2016

The wish

Sidling up he said “What are you drinking?”
“Champagne! French of course!” she said, winking.
“Then maybe we might
Leave and make love all night,
Or would that only be wishful thinking?”

Author petePosted on December 17, 2016July 15, 2024Categories PGTags champagne, limerick, pick-up line, wishful thinking

False surmise

From the way that she’d rolled up her eyes,
And her sighs as he fondled her thighs,
She was ready to go,
So the fact she said no
Was a bit of an awkward surprise!

Author petePosted on December 15, 2016July 15, 2024Categories AOTags consent, fondled, limerick, thighs

Altruism

“Look,” she said. “Please excuse my profanity…
Whom you fuck comes down to vanity.
Never mind who…
Fuck the ugly ones too…
For the overall good of humanity!”

Author petePosted on December 13, 2016July 15, 2024Categories AOTags consent, fuck, limerick, promiscuity

Hard call

True, her dress was revealing and tight,
But to say she’d deserved it was trite;
Had he twisted her arm?
She’d resisted his charm,
Though perhaps not as hard as she might!

Author petePosted on December 8, 2016July 15, 2024Categories PGTags consent, limerick, rape, tight dress

Wedding breakfast

She’d had certain misgivings, quite rightly,
But woke up next day bright and sprightly,
Cooked bacon and eggs,
On her rubbery legs;
A tight squeeze, but it’s best to fit tightly!

Author petePosted on December 8, 2016July 15, 2024Categories AOTags big penis, first time, limerick, tight fit

Bending to his will

Vile deception, with wicked intent!
She’d agreed, (but her words had been bent),
To his putting it in,
Quite enthused, to begin,
Although not in the hole where it went!

Author petePosted on December 8, 2016December 4, 2019Categories AOTags anal, bending words, consent, hole, limerick

Angels on the head of a pin

The discussion became esoteric;
“The term virgin,” shouted one cleric,
“Still does not preclude
That she might yet be screwed
In ways other than fucking generic!”

Author petePosted on December 8, 2016July 15, 2024Categories AOTags esoteric, fucking, limerick, philosophy, screwed, virgin

Spin

“Lot 15, a white girl!” cried the seller.
“Observe her remarkable pallor!
Still has all her teeth,
And the parts underneath
Scarcely used! Almost virgin! Praise Allah!”

Author petePosted on December 8, 2016July 15, 2024Categories AOTags limerick, virgin, white slavery

Re: Capitulation

“Though you marriage may be somewhat dull,”
Said her lawyer, “the grounds to annul,
Sadly do not include
One’s just not being screwed
As one wants. Get it into your skull!

Author petePosted on December 8, 2016July 15, 2024Categories AOTags divorce, fellatio, legal limerick, limerick, marriage, screwed

Aries in the ascendant

She was Virgo, he Aries, the Ram…
Though he secretly gave not a damn
For the stars, things celestial,
Being more bestial…
Do unto ewe, and then scram!

Author petePosted on December 8, 2016July 15, 2024Categories PGTags Aries, astrology, bestial, limerick, Virgo

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