Said he, out on the town and carousing,
“I say, lass, that’s rather arousing!”
Said she “Chilly, outdoors.
“Forty quid, and I’m yours!”
“Oh my goodness!” said he. “No! Just browsing.”
Month: March 2013
Tasty tart
He said “Darling, please don’t think me boorish;
That skirt, though, does make you look whore-ish.
Your cleavage, what’s more,
Is too much to ignore!
The whole package, in fact, is quite more-ish!”
Inner thoughts
By her lustfulness tortured infernally,
Damned though she’d be, then, eternally,
Much as she’d tried,
Having felt it outside,
How she yearned, now, to feel it internally!
The thinking man’s crumpet
People call her “the thinking man’s crumpet”;
She’s more like the drinking man’s strumpet!
She says “What’s up Doc?”
While she rubs a man’s cock;
When it’s hard, lewdly winking, she’ll hump it!
Viking lads
When young vikings would gather, they met
To bump heads, and to blather, and get
Drunk on ale or mead,
Bed a wench, splash their seed
‘Twixt her loins, in a lather of sweat!
Wide eyes and wide thighs
‘Twas a thing to astound and bewilder!
The way that it grew! How it filled her!
Still half yet to go!
Quite impossible … though…
She’d damn get it all in, if it killed her!
Yesterday’s rooster
He was grumpy, pot-bellied and grizzled,
But strong as a bull, and long-pizzled.
Back then, in his youth,
Girls had swooned! Now, in truth,
His cock twitched at best, dribbled and fizzled.
La Paloma
The term prostitute seemed a misnomer;
They danced, the band played “La Paloma”.
He sniffed in the air…
From her damp underwear,
Her disturbingly musky aroma!
Jekyll and Hyde
Doctor Jekyll’s wool suit was bespoke,
Educated, refined, when he spoke,
But his mad, darker side,
Ugly, violent Hyde
Was a rather less likeable bloke!
Squeamish
Just the thought of sex caused him distress;
Ugly sounds, and the smells and the mess!
All that squeaking and squishiness,
Yeastiness, fishiness;
God! Let her please not undress!