rape – Page 2 – Pete's Limericks

Monkey business

An unfortunate chimpanzee male
Attempted to little avail
To gain by coercion
A penile insertion:
It seems that thereby hangs a tail!

Johnny-on-the-spot

It’s not done for a lady to squat
And display everything that she’s got:
If her cunt caught the eye
Of a chap passing by,
She’d be fucked, with just cause, on the spot!

Service with a smile

There was a young waitress, who fluttered her
Long, silky lashes and jutted her
Tits out and smiled
At the cook, who went wild,
Dropped his pants and assaulted and buttered her!

She came down in the last shower

She was caught in the rain with a fella,
Who offered to share his umbrella:
She thought “What’s to lose?”
It seemed rude to refuse.
She said “Thanks”, and was fucked in a cellar.

Maiden

A young lad and his lass, down in Dover,
Were having a romp in the clover:
He said “Let’s play cricket!”
She said “You can stick it!”
He did, and he bowled said young bold maiden over!

Cad

She said “Sir, you can never deny
That you raped me!” I said, “No, not I.”
She said, “Sir, you’re a cad!”
I said, “Madam, not bad!
I’m a cad, though not he who had thee, but nice try!”

The sitting

Lady Swandown agreed to be painted:
“By art,” she said, “one can’t be tainted.”
She gladly posed nude,
But refused to be screwed,
And yet was, when he flashed, and she fainted.

The unexpected

Lady Wentworth, just back from the hunt,
Was assailed with an instrument blunt,
With such strength and such force,
She could not sit a horse
On the region that suffered the brunt!

Faint heart, fair lady

When Leticia Fitzgerald-Jones fainted,
A chap not the least bit acquainted
Thought “How’s that for luck!”
He partook of a fuck,
And then left her there, gooey and tainted!