Her attendance at school had been cursory,
Then haberdashery, mercery,
Not a great life;
Now she’s somebody’s wife,
Gone to fat, feeding brats in the nursery!
Tag: marriage
Zen and the art of marriage maintenance
Sunday mornings they’d lie in till ten,
Have a root, cup of tea, root again.
Something more than habitual,
Almost a ritual,
Sacred almost. Sort of Zen.
Scratching an itch
Though a good, faithful wife, I’m afraid
That sometimes she got bored, and she strayed,
Told her husband some lie,
Went out, picked up some guy,
Had a couple of drinks, and got laid.
Honey, I’m home!
Naked, smiling. Nice way to be greeted!
This offer may not be repeated!
Fucked there, in the hall,
Her arse slapping the wall!
Now that’s how a good wife should be treated!
The goose and the gander
Women too have their conjugal rights…
Though they reached no great sensual heights,
And though no raving beauty,
He still did his duty…
It helped keep him warm, those cold nights!
Father knows best
“Well, my son, she’s a beautiful bride,”
Said his dad, “but still, cast your net wide.
She’s a good fuck, I know;
Keep your eyes open, though,
For the chance of a bit on the side!”
Re: Capitulation
“Though you marriage may be somewhat dull,”
Said her lawyer, “the grounds to annul,
Sadly do not include
One’s just not being screwed
As one wants. Get it into your skull!
Domestic bliss
Twice a night was once barely enough,
But it slowed down, she got up the duff,
First routine, then a bore,
Sex became one more chore,
And if that didn’t suit him, well tough!
Back seat driver
“Mess with cars,” she screamed”. “That’s all you do!
Once a month is a few fucks too few!
But six-monthly or annual?
Read the damn manual!
Women need servicing too!”
A long road and bumpy
As she aged, his wife got a bit frumpy,
He too became pudgy and grumpy;
Just par for the course.
They’d have got a divorce,
But both still loved the old rumpy-pumpy!