Big Ben

You will no doubt have heard of Big Ben.
Almost everyone has now and then:
He’s renowned for his dong,
Which is three times as long
As his ding, which is eighteen feet ten!

Squeezebox

Miss Lagamba, the young ballerina,
Makes love and does things far obscener:
Her legs, long and strong
Are just made to do wrong,
And her cunt’s like a small concertina!

Delicacy

Lady Edith, in kid gloves and tweed,
Felt an urgent indelicate need,
So she hitched up her skirt,
Lest it drag in the dirt,
Or get wet at the hem when she peed.

Nob

Though my blue-blood erection may throb,
And go purple and red at the knob,
I will not touch an arse
Of the mercantile class:
I’m at bottom, a sexual snob!