His libidinous plans came to nought,
Since his penis was woefully short.
What was thought to be it,
Or at least a snug fit,
Was in fact a venereal wart.
Tag: limerick
Romantic serial
She was gorgeous, her voice was melodic,
Our romance, alas, episodic.
She liked being on top,
And she’d fuck till she’d drop,
As she came in a manner spasmodic.
Monkey business
An unfortunate chimpanzee male
Attempted to little avail
To gain by coercion
A penile insertion:
It seems that thereby hangs a tail!
Underarmour
A fastidious lady called Kay
Regards sex with a certain dismay:
Not her moral beliefs,
But her girdle and briefs,
And her panty-hose get in the way.
Tigress
Though her immodest pose was inviting,
And touching herself was exciting,
Though horny as hell,
I knew only too well
That to to fuck her risked scratching and biting.
Guilt trip
Having plunged himself in to the hilt,
He was seized by irrational guilt,
And though firmly resolved,
His libido dissolved
And his untimely sperm-spurt was spilt.
Phobia
Every time Howard’s sex-organ firms
He gets anxious, and fidgets and squirms:
He can’t contemplate sex,
So intense and complex
Is his deep morbid fear of germs!
The lady at her toilet
With her long silky hair in loose coils,
She bathes nightly in Indian oils,
Anoints her vagina
With perfumes from China:
Oh, fortunate man she thus spoils!
Belittlement
Mister Treverton’s ego was brittle,
Because his poor dick was so little:
His girlfriend, in fact,
Rather lacking in tact,
Said she’d rather her finger and spittle.
A guiding hand
With her knees by her ears, the bride
Placed a hand on her husband to guide:
Though he had the idea,
And prodded quite near,
He couldn’t quite get it inside.