It seems to me plainly deducible,
One’s hernia may be reducible,
Yet nevertheless
Make one’s sex life a mess;
It does make one so much less seducible.
Tag: limerick
Pediculosis pubis
Should you harbour the dreaded crab-louse,
From a visit to some sinful house,
See your local GP,
Who’ll prescribe DDT,
For yourself and your mistress and spouse.
Thrombo-embolism
An old woman, confined to her cot,
Then developed a bit of a clot,
Or I should say, thrombosis,
And which, I suppose, is
The reason her lung’s in this pot.
Circumcision
One should not undertake circumcision,
Except with the utmost precision;
A negligent slip
Of the knife round the tip
Leaves one precious small chance of revision!
Scleroderma
There was a young lady from Burma
Whose breasts became firmer and firmer,
Her skin, too, was tight,
And her hands were a fright;
The poor lass, alas, had scleroderma.
Transillumination of breast lumps
Any girl with a lump in her breast,
Perhaps found when said breast is caressed,
If it shrinks from the light,
Though the thought turn her white,
Should, by rights , get the thing off her chest.
Bougainvillea
There’s a drug from the plant bougainvillea
Which alters your internal milieu;
Take it in tea
And you’ll publicly pee,
Take your clothes off, or something far sillier!
Enigma
An age-old enigma has been
Whether kidneys came first or the bean;
In answer the best is
They both look like testes,
The description of which is obscene.
Analgesic nephropathy
A young housewife who ate APCs
And whose kidneys have died by degrees,
Lives on haemodialysis
And sends for analysis
Whatever, whenever she pees.
Aortic stenosis
One’s pulse may become anacrotic,
Which doesn’t mean quaint or quixotic;
It means that you’re ill,
You can tell by the thrill,
And your poor old aorta’s stenotic.