Mrs Bradley professed a revulsion,
For lubricant gel or emulsion:
It might help get started,
But what if she farted?
It might cause the organ’s expulsion.
Tag: fart
Hypertension
When your blood pressure starts to get high,
As it may, without telling us why,
It will wear out your heart,
You may bleed when you fart,
And one day unexpectedly die!
Big Annie
If you give big, fat Annie a squeeze,
She’ll belch beer, and cackle and wheeze:
She might let loose a fart,
(She’s a slack-arsed old tart),
And she not too infrequently pees!
Affaire du coeur
Well, she got undressed, lay there, legs parted…
They fucked… she seemed, sort of… half hearted…
He finished, withdrew,
And said thanks, as you do…
“Yea, no worries,” she said. Then she farted.
Fouling the nest
His apology came from the heart,
Only words, but at least a good start…
Still, his bridges are burnt,
If he hasn’t now learnt,
When you’re fucking a woman, don’t fart!
Moving on
The damn bitch! Mean and nasty! Cold-hearted!
He’d loved her, of course, when it started.
It didn’t last long,
Though he’d done nothing wrong…
Just that time, when they fucked, and he farted.
The royal wedding
As a princess, of course, she was fated,
While young, to be married off, mated
To some beastly lord,
To be fucked, then ignored,
While he farted and snored, drunk and sated.
Degrees of intimacy
What’s the rule, he thought, scratching his head,
About when can a man fart in bed?
Not till after the screw?
If she farts before you?
Should he ask her? No… Better unsaid.
Old folks at home
He was rude and untidy and grumpy,
She cranky, demanding and frumpy;
He farted, she snored,
Both complained they were bored,
But they still like the old rumpy-pumpy.
Her bosom
Her soft bosom was warm and commodious,
Farts even sweet and melodious:
Lie in her arms
And all other girls’ charms
Became dull… but comparison’s odious.