bum – Pete's Limericks

Plummy

I’ve a penchant for lasses whose mums
Make them speak with a mouthful of plums,
Who wear tight skirts and heels,
Which nicely reveals
The sway of their silken-smooth bums.

Her mother’s advice

Of course, most women cheat, said her Mum…
Only, love, just take care when they come…
A stray root, now and then…
It’s the how and the when…
Safest thing’s take his cock up yer bum!

Good intentions

He was uncertain just where it went…
Got it in, though, in any event,
But, alas, in her bum…
She turned sulky and glum,
Though, of course, it was jolly well-meant!

Soccer mum

Young and pretty… well, gorgeous, then some!
A good wife, went to church, soccer mum…
The nice woman next door,
But who liked nothing more
Than a lovely big cock up her bum!

Pucker up

Well, of course, she was nervous and frightened…
Her poor anus puckered and tightened!
He spat on her bum,
And he worked in his thumb,
Then his cock, as her clenched fingers whitened!

Bad Santa

Merry Christmas! Ho, ho, fucking ho!
Wanna sit on my lap, girlie? No?
OK. What about Mum?
Slide that hot mummy bum
Down on Santa’s big cock. Way to go!

Camel toe caravan

All those girls in the street, wearing tights…
God! What fucking delectable sights!
Sweaty gym-topped young mums,
With their pants up their bums,
And a pussy that looks like it bites!

Glum

“You must think that I’m awfully dumb,”
She said, “sticking your prick in my bum…
And you’ve made it quite sore…
And you did it before…
You’re so mean! And I’m gonna tell Mum!”

Low blow

As a rule, she took things in her stride,
Sort of gritted her teeth, let it slide.
Slick indeed! Up the bum!
She was feeling so glum
That she could have just curled up and cried!