Convent life’s mostly dull and reclusive;
Small pleasures are few, and elusive.
Alone in her cell,
A young nun might as well
Please herself, to which boredom’s conducive.
Pastoral matters
As a Catholic priest, he eschews
Married life, and should also refuse,
As a man of the cloth,
And on pain of God’s wrath,
Sex with those whom he’s prone to abuse.
Feckless youth
In his youth he was idle and feckless,
Impulsive, erratic and reckless,
Of no earthly use;
His whole life was a noose,
Dangling loose round his head like a necklace.
The book and its cover
She’d dressed skimpily, dabbed on perfume;
You’d have thought it was fair to presume
She was looking for love
But, when push came to shove,
Though she was, she was fussy with whom!
Vocational guidance
She’d had quite comprehensive instruction
In sex and the art of seduction,
To be good in bed
And, of course, to give head
With the right mix of friction and suction.
A few good men
She enjoyed a nice root, now and then,
And again, and again, and again,
But to be someone’s wife?
No, she’d make it through life
With a few, (well, a dozen) good men!
Impeccable taste
“Though I know, my girl, how I repel you,
I’ll pay well; just do as I tell you:
No soap or shampoo.
Do not wipe when you poo
And lie still, while I lick you and smell you!”
Wet legs
What was lacking in sexual competence,
God, she made up for in confidence!
Not put off by
A man’s size, which is why
When she laughed, the poor girl had incontinence!
Silken ropes
As the buckles and silken ropes tightened,
She shivered, excited and frightened;
The fuck, in itself,
Was just straight off the shelf,
But her high, when she came (twice) was heightened!
To forgive is divine
Despite his professions of piety,
Often, at night, on the quiet, he
Went out in mufti,
And those whom he stuffed, he
Forgave for their lapse in propriety.