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Pete's Limericks

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Pete's Limericks

Category: PG

Parental guidance recommended

Up-front

When a woman is called well endowed,
She has something of which to be proud,
Or  two things, and as such,
She should flaunt them as much
As, by decency’s bounds, is allowed.

Author adminPosted on March 4, 2011April 5, 2020Categories PGTags big breasts, decency, exhibitionism, limerick, well endowed

The glow

Though she knew she was damned, and a sinner,
She just couldn’t find it within her,
Or rather, she could,
And by God, it felt good!
A warm glow bathed her, outer and inner.

Author adminPosted on March 4, 2011April 5, 2020Categories PGTags damned, limerick, sinner, virginity

The voice of choice

In her orgasm’s ecstatic throes,
Every woman, within herself, knows,
When his semen is spilled,
That she’ll feel fulfilled,
That to do this was something she chose.

Author adminPosted on March 3, 2011April 5, 2020Categories PGTags ecstasy, limerick, orgasm, semen

The swirl of the dance

She was lost in the swirl of the dance,
In a rhythmical, romantic trance,
But the man, you could tell,
Wasn’t under the spell,
He just yearned to get into her pants.

Author adminPosted on March 3, 2011April 5, 2020Categories PGTags dance, erection, pants

Morality

It’s a curious concept, fidelity,
Strange philosophic duality,
Being untrue,
Screwing somebody new,
Is to face and deny one’s mortality.

Author adminPosted on March 3, 2011April 5, 2020Categories PGTags cheating, fidelity, limerick, screwing, unfaithful

Life goes on

Women too have their sexual drives,
Even overworked mothers and wives,
Who in bed, late at night,
Become things of delight:
Thus mankind sputters on and survives.

Author adminPosted on March 3, 2011April 5, 2020Categories PGTags delight, limerick, sex drive, wife, wives

Her bosom

Her soft bosom was warm and commodious,
Farts even sweet and melodious:
Lie in her arms
And all other girls’ charms
Became dull… but comparison’s odious.

Author adminPosted on March 2, 2011April 5, 2020Categories PGTags bosom, fart, limerick

Prenuptial

Giving in to her earnest betrothed,
She lay down with him, flushed and unclothed,
But his fevered caress,
And the sweat and the mess,
Made her think sex a thing to be loathed.

Author adminPosted on March 1, 2011April 5, 2020Categories PGTags betrothed, caress, flushed, limerick, premarital sex, sweat

Old time religion

The old bishops of Rome once exhorted
That heretics had to be slaughtered,
Flayed, burnt at the stake,
(Though sometimes by mistake),
Jews and Protestants hung, drawn and quartered.

Author adminPosted on March 1, 2011April 5, 2020Categories PGTags catholic, limerick, religion

Up in the hills

All those redneck folks up in the hills,
Drinking moonshine and watching their stills,
Screw their siblings and cousins,
Have kids by the dozens
Shoot critters and fight, for cheap thrills.

Author adminPosted on January 15, 2011April 5, 2020Categories PGTags cousin, fight, limerick, moonshine, redneck, sibling

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