When Leticia Fitzgerald-Jones fainted,
A chap not the least bit acquainted
Thought “How’s that for luck!”
He partook of a fuck,
And then left her there, gooey and tainted!
Category: AO
Adults only
Higher things
Said the milk-maid to James Brown Esquire,
“Milord, I shall truly expire!
Your cock, long and wide
Has undone me inside,
But before I die, push it in higher!”
Aplomb
In the night, or at least after dusk,
On his mattress of coconut husk,
Lest he lose his aplomb
The expatriate Pom
Fucks his wife in a manner most brusque.
Sans souci
Through the smock that my parlour-maid dons
You can see her luxuriant mons:
It occasions more snickers
Than if she wore knickers,
Which garment she tends to go sans!
Consideration
Having humbly his bowler hat doffed,
Jiggs, the butler respectfully coughed,
And said “Madam, the dirt
And the gravel will hurt:
One should fuck on the grass, where it’s soft.”
Household discipline
On pain of disgrace and dismissal,
One’s maid should respond to one’s whistle,
And, lifting her smock,
Part her cheeks for one’s cock,
Or submit to the cane, strap or bristle.
The help
Said my butler, the soul of discretion,
Composed both of voice and expression,
“Milord, might I look,
While you’re fucking with cook?
And a word, sir: she fancies it Grecian.”
The thrill of the hunt
Oh, ‘tis grand in the crisp, misty dawn,
To the sound of the hounds and the horn,
To embark on the hunt,
With one’s upper-class cunt
Wearing smoother one’s saddle well-worn!
Magnanimity
In the clipped tones befitting her class,
Said the Duchess, face down in the grass,
“Though you’re hardly my equal,
By way of a sequel
To straight sex, I give you my arse!”
Pukka sahib
In the midst of a polo-crosse chukka,
It’s simply not proper, nor pukka,
When offered the crumpet
Of some local strumpet,
To jump off your pony and fuck her.