AO – Page 382 – Pete's Limericks

Tooth and claw

She resisted, and fought tooth and claw;
She protested, and blasphemed and swore,
Till he got her tied up,
Naked, sunny-side-up,
Which, as cheating, of course, we deplore!

Love's wounds

A girl’s first fuck involves blood and gore:
When it’s over, her cunt might be sore,
But love’s wounds quickly heal,
And girls mostly feel
They wish that they’d done it before!

Twat

English girls call their pussy a twat,
From the Norse word for cleft, slit or slot.
It is not pronounced “twat”,
As in “don’t kick the cat”;
British women should know what they’ve got!

Stroppy

The girl had good cause to be stroppy;
Frustrated, her fanny all sloppy,
And he, this great dork,
After all his big talk,
With his dick bloody useless and floppy!

Technical virgin

Her claim, frankly, was hard to discount,
That she’d managed to make him dismount,
When he’d barely begun,
And, when all’s said and done,
Just the knob getting in doesn’t count!

The tingle

She was eighteen, a virgin and single;
The boy made her lower parts tingle.
The kissing was great,
And she just couldn’t wait
For their sexual juices to mingle.

Pink

She was randy, immoral and fickle;
She loved a good internal tickle.
A touch or sly wink
Made her breathless and pink,
And a kiss made her warm pussy trickle.

The rose

When a woman’s a joy to behold
Better still if she’s lusty and bold,
With a cunt like a glove,
To fall into in love,
Round which petal-like labia fold.

F minus

Though the fellow was ready and willing,
As fucks go, it wasn’t so thrilling:
The boy did his best,
But, when put to the test,
It was plain that he needed upskilling.