She gave always a ready reception
To boys with their own contraception:
A thin piece of plastic,
Held on with elastic,
Sufficed, but was cruel deception!
Category: AO
Adults only
Tickle her fancy
If you tickle her tummy, Miss Quigley
Gets squeaky and squealy and giggly.
Tickle her fancy,
She gets antsy-pantsy
And breathless and red-faced and wriggly.
The Officers’ Mess
Through his Cuban cigar, over port,
The old Colonel complained with a snort:
“My wife wants it on top!
We men must call a stop,
And make women behave as they ought!”
Said old Major Brown, “Jolly good show!
It’s debasing to fuck from below!
We must take it to court:
Women have to be taught
What they should, if they don’t, bloody know!”
Said the Captain, “It’s, after all, sport:
Woman’s role’s to be chased till she’s caught!
A root’s just not a root
Without headlong pursuit,
Not unless it’s expensively bought!”
From the Sergeant, by way of retort,
Was heard “Balderdash! None of the sort!
I belong to that school
Which says man’s but a fool,
If he buys what he might have for nought!”
Said the Major, “I’ve just had a thought,
For the perils with which sex is fraught.
We have all had the pox
From some upper class box:
I myself have a large penile wart!”
At this last, said the Colonel, “Aha!
We’re perhaps better off as we are:
I’m too old for the hunt,
Be it fox, boar or cunt!
I suggest we return to the bar.”
Out of her crease
Understandably peeved, poor Miss Pickett
Exclaimed “No! That’s simply not cricket!
You can’t have your way,
And then call end of play,
Leaving me with a damp, sticky wicket!”
Unscrupulous
An unscrupulous bastard called Bill
Corrupts innocent girls for a thrill,
Then he casts them aside,
Though he’s hurt them inside,
When he’s bored and he’s quite had his fill.
Doubling down
So extreme was the young fellow’s lust
And so deep and so forceful his thrust,
That the double bed broke,
Yet he ceased not to poke,
Though the lady concerned was concussed!
Brinkmanship
A disgraceful young girl called Louise
Is renowned as a flirt and a tease:
She allows men to think
That she’s poised on the brink,
And then tells them she has a disease!
In
Though his motives were plainly inferior,
Slowly the poor girl grew wearier,
Feeling some friction,
Then, stranger than fiction,
She found he was in her interior!
Losing her shirt
A young girl , playing cards with the guys,
Pulled her panties down over her thighs;
She had lost her last bet
And, already in debt,
Upped the stakes, with herself as the prize!
Despicable
A despicable bounder, called Burton
Of Nell’s ruination made certain,
By forcing upon her
The utmost dishonour,
Then wiping his dick on her curtain!