Having humbly his bowler hat doffed,
Jiggs, the butler respectfully coughed,
And said “Madam, the dirt
And the gravel will hurt:
One should fuck on the grass, where it’s soft.”
Month: December 2024
Household discipline
On pain of disgrace and dismissal,
One’s maid should respond to one’s whistle,
And, lifting her smock,
Part her cheeks for one’s cock,
Or submit to the cane, strap or bristle.
The help
Said my butler, the soul of discretion,
Composed both of voice and expression,
“Milord, might I look,
While you’re fucking with cook?
And a word, sir: she fancies it Grecian.”
The thrill of the hunt
Oh, ‘tis grand in the crisp, misty dawn,
To the sound of the hounds and the horn,
To embark on the hunt,
With one’s upper-class cunt
Wearing smoother one’s saddle well-worn!
Magnanimity
In the clipped tones befitting her class,
Said the Duchess, face down in the grass,
“Though you’re hardly my equal,
By way of a sequel
To straight sex, I give you my arse!”
Pukka sahib
In the midst of a polo-crosse chukka,
It’s simply not proper, nor pukka,
When offered the crumpet
Of some local strumpet,
To jump off your pony and fuck her.
Casanova
That remarkable stud, Casanova
Was kept all his long life in clover,
By fucking his patrons,
Society matrons,
In public, and over and over!
Out of character
Lady Anne, with remarkable candour,
Confessed to a quick one-night-stander
With one of our peers,
Who much prefers queers,
Though this, of course, might well be slander.
Standards
Lady Forsythe will lower her breeches
For any of aquiline features:
She won’t condescend
In the slightest to bend,
But accepts any pizzle that reaches!
Carte blanche
If of sex Lady Sarah grew bored,
Then she not only slept, but she snored:
But although it peeved some,
She had great tits and bum,
And it gave one carte-blanche if ignored!