A young lawyer, we’ll call Bernadette,
In a lather of sexual sweat,
Took the matter in hand,
(Viz: the masculine gland),
With intention to aid and abet!
Month: December 2024
Stitched up
Charged with rape, a young man was acquitted,
When blithely the plaintiff admitted,
(Insensitive bitch),
That, not dropping a stitch,
Throughout all, she had silently knitted!
Ruptured disc
At the act of love, be not too brisk,
and at all times, beware of the risk;
Indiscriminate fucking,
With kicking and bucking,
May cause one to rupture a disc.
Candidiasis 2
There’s an awful infection called thrush,
Which makes sufferers constantly blush,
When they’re driven to scratch
In the depths of their thatch,
With a fingernail, chopstick or brush.
Scabies
It’s a dreadful contagious thing, scabies;
You’ll get it, no ifs, buts or maybes,
From being too close
To a girl with a dose,
Who may also have herpes and tabes.
Orthopaedic surgery
A surgeon of some reputation
Fell foul of intense litigation;
An innocent slip
Made a right below hip
Of a left below knee amputation.
Sexually transmitted diseases
Other people’s small parts may drip pus,
With a lot of concomitant fuss;
It’s a nuisance, of course,
Which engenders remorse
In those poor folk concerned (never us!)
Pediculosis pubis 2
It detracts from the fun of one’s vice
If the lady sets too high a price,
Or if some nasty bitch
Makes one’s genitals itch
With a dose of the dreaded crab-lice
Torsion of the testis
When one’s testis develops a torsion,
The whole ball, or only a portion,
Take this delicate gland
In the palm of your hand,
And proceed to a surgeon with caution.
The vagus nerve
The deliciously sensitive tragus
In part’s innervated by vagus,
And this is, of course,
The most probable source
Of untimely erections which plague us!