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Pete's Limericks

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Pete's Limericks

Month: June 2013

Taken in

The poor girl turned as white as the sheet,
And said something I couldn’t repeat.
He’d said “Fooled you! I win!”
Stuck it all the way in!
The damned bastard! The liar! The cheat!

Author adminPosted on June 30, 2013June 27, 2024Categories AOTags all the way in, bastard, cheat, liar, limerick, virgin, virginity, white as a sheet

Lies and promises

He’d sworn love, promised always to stay with her;
Lies, till he had his damn way with her!
Cold as he grew,
Though he’d used her, she knew,
She still loved the cad, do what he may with her!

Author adminPosted on June 30, 2013June 27, 2024Categories GTags had his way, limerick, love, used

Love the one you're with

She just wanted to be his best friend,
But the boy got his way in the end;
He said “Heavens above!
It’s just sex, it’s not love!
If it’s romance you want, just pretend!

Author adminPosted on June 29, 2013June 27, 2024Categories PGTags best friend, limerick, love, not love

One track mind

When she laughed at the man’s one track mind,
He said “Yes, well, my thoughts are confined
To when next we might screw,
And the things that I’ll do,
And which orifice, things of that kind.”

Author adminPosted on June 28, 2013June 27, 2024Categories AOTags fantasy, limerick, one track mind, orifice, screw

How to please a woman

Almost nine out of ten women polled,
From sixteen up to sixty years old,
Say they’d like sex much more,
And come often, they swore,
If their men would just do what they’re told!

Author adminPosted on June 26, 2013June 27, 2024Categories AOTags come, limerick, sixteen, sixty, statistics

Seduction in the seraglio

Belly rippling, she rhythmically danced,
Pelvic muscles taut too, which enhanced
That last pleasure, delayed,
As he throbbed, as she swayed…
At which, too, she was rather advanced.

Author adminPosted on June 26, 2013June 27, 2024Categories AOTags belly, belly dance, dance, limerick, pelvic, pelvis, throbbed

Misconception

Having altered her marital status,
Some weeks passed, a decent hiatus.
She said she believed
That she might have conceived,
But it turned out to be only flatus.

Author adminPosted on June 25, 2013June 27, 2024Categories GTags flatus, limerick, marital status, pregnancy, wind

Getting to know her

She’s a bit of a tease and a flirt;
When she fucks though, it’s always covert,
Or the neighbours would talk,
And their children would gawk,
But a bit on the side doesn’t hurt.

Author adminPosted on June 25, 2013June 27, 2024Categories AOTags a bit on the side, flirt, fuck, limerick, tease

Best friends

They did make quite a handsome young pair,
Which was nice, but it didn’t seem fair!
Her friend had him to screw;
What was she meant to do?
Though, perhaps, they could take turns and share!

Author adminPosted on June 25, 2013June 27, 2024Categories PGTags limerick, screw, threesome

Easy come, easy go

The poor girl was left pale and wan;
Gave her all and, a bit later on,
Woke up, cold and alone.
She’d not have, had she known
He, the cad, would have just come and gone!

Author adminPosted on June 25, 2013June 27, 2024Categories GTags come, come and gone, gave her all, limerick, seduced and abandoned

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