An obsessive young housewife, called Lizzie,
For fucking was often too busy.
Her husband, distraught,
Took the matter to court,
And was granted forthwith, decree nisi.
Tag: male chauvinism
The Officers’ Mess
Through his Cuban cigar, over port,
The old Colonel complained with a snort:
“My wife wants it on top!
We men must call a stop,
And make women behave as they ought!”
Said old Major Brown, “Jolly good show!
It’s debasing to fuck from below!
We must take it to court:
Women have to be taught
What they should, if they don’t, bloody know!”
Said the Captain, “It’s, after all, sport:
Woman’s role’s to be chased till she’s caught!
A root’s just not a root
Without headlong pursuit,
Not unless it’s expensively bought!”
From the Sergeant, by way of retort,
Was heard “Balderdash! None of the sort!
I belong to that school
Which says man’s but a fool,
If he buys what he might have for nought!”
Said the Major, “I’ve just had a thought,
For the perils with which sex is fraught.
We have all had the pox
From some upper class box:
I myself have a large penile wart!”
At this last, said the Colonel, “Aha!
We’re perhaps better off as we are:
I’m too old for the hunt,
Be it fox, boar or cunt!
I suggest we return to the bar.”
Chauvinism
As a lover, she’s keen, if not zealous,
As mistress, possessive and jealous.
She’s not very bright,
But her body’s alright:
(I confess to some chauvinist malice).
A bit jaded
God she’s sick of men! Bloody chartreuse!
Bondage, so-called erotic art, spurs,
All their sick, creepy fun,
Then, their orgasm done,
They roll off, when she’s still to start hers!
Empire
Women, black, brown, all colours and creeds,
Said the captain, would serve a man’s needs.
Well, what else were they for?
Sluts, or spoils of war,
Or else bought for some trinkets and beads.
Interpersonal skills
He liked girls, and he liked a selection,
But felt neither love nor affection.
A girl was a doll,
Something soft, with a hole
Into which he could stick his erection.