Said the missionary’s wife, Mrs Bingham,
Respectably dressed in plain gingham,
“I’m terribly bored
By the church and the Lord,
But entranced by the yoni and lingam!”
Tag: limerick
Trial by ordeal
A young deacon, his loins all afire,
Seduced a young girl from the choir,
With sinful intent,
Saying “If you repent,
God forgives,” as orgasm drew nigher!
The flip side
There’s a whole new erogenous zone
That’s revealed when the lady lies prone:
The alternative passage,
(Plus clitoral massage)
Is nice, but a bugger alone.
The dice game
There’s emerging a rather chic vice
Wherein people together throw dice,
To determine with whom
One does what in the gloom,
And with what sort of kinky device!
Doggy style
Though it’s strange, she did not seem upset
To be kept on a leash as a pet,
Didn’t mind being mated,
But one thing she hated
Was having to go to the vet.
Slam
A girl’s arse, I believe, is her trump:
I look first at a young lady’s rump:
I prefer pink or white,
But my utmost delight
Is a freshly spanked one, red and plump!
Fairy tale
Mister Brown is by day a bank teller.
At night he becomes Cinderella,
In stockings and gown,
In which guise he goes down
On his ebony-handled umbrella.
Necking and petting
A young woman, who’s frightened of snakes,
And the long necks of swans and of drakes,
Has as well a great dread
Of the serpent in bed,
Every day when her husband awakes!
Heavens to Betsy
Betsy Jones is no sexual sluggard,
Prefers sex, in fact, when it’s rugged.
She likes being eaten,
And tied up and beaten
And doesn’t mind much being buggered.
Heavy breathing
That old rodent-like chap, Mr Sloan,
Gets his rocks off at night all alone,
Vicariously
And hilariously,
Mouthing fragments of filth on the phone.