So, my ideal lover, she said,
Fucks me good, doesn’t mess with my head;
No damn lies, bullshit, flattery,
Comes with a battery,
Always there, under my bed.
Tag: female masturbation
Going solo
Strung along for six years by Ralph,
Betty thought, fuck him! Left on the shelf!
Well, the bastard, all said,
Was dead hopeless in bed…
She’d keep on getting off by herself!
Tiptoe through the two lips
Finger painting, or flicking the bean,
Muffin buffin’, you know what I mean?
You can frap, you can shlick,
What a shame you can’t lick!
So deliciously lewd and unclean!
Making do
Randy, reckless, what might do the job?
She thought. Cucumber? Corn on the cob?
Carrot? Candle? Shampoo?
A wine bottle? Her shoe?
Wait! That’s it! The stair banister knob!