Getting-off-wise, she’s not too selective…
Just make herself come’s the objective!
A man, if one’s handy,
Or else, when she’s randy,
A bottle or carrot’s effective.
Tag: dildo
Ambiguity
Lovely breasts, but ambiguous gender…
A new thrill, thought Madam Big Spender.
Nice cock , to begin…
Then, the more wicked sin,
Cunt-to-cunt on that big double ender!
Home alone
She was sixteen, and bored, home alone…
How to make herself come, on her own?
What to stick up her cunt?
Something chunky and blunt…
Baseball bat? Can of coke? The dog’s bone?
There’s life in the old girl yet!
My Aunt Mary, a bit of a shocker,
Improved the design of her rocker…
A big wooden prick,
Through a hole, on a stick…
And renamed it Aunt M’s auto-cocker!
Supersize me
It had not looked that big in the shop…
Ready… Try it again, from the top…
Got the knob in…OK…
A bit more… All the way!
Harder! Faster! Oh fuck! Yeah! Don’t stop!
Bottoms up!
God, I’m horny! she thought. What’s to fuck?
Not the pineapple… ouch! Might get stuck!
The zucchini? Too tame.
The cucumber? Same, same.
The champagne bottle! Fat end. Here’s luck!
The wrong end of the stick
Skirt hiked up, sprawled face down on a keg,
The poor wench, thought “Too late to renege!”
She’d been happy to root
Long John Silver, the brute,
Only not with his fuckin’ peg leg!
DIY
Though a real cock sometimes entices,
A carrot or eggplant suffices,
A bottle works fine,
(After drinking the wine),
If she’s left to her own strange devices.
Test pilot
Once astride this machine he’d devised,
She was pleasantly, frankly, surprised,
Well, once over the shock,
That its piston-cranked cock
Felt so good, though prodigiously sized!
Left to her own devices
“That’s a rather alarming device”,
She exclaimed. “Could you be more precise,
As to just where it goes?
Oh! In there! Heaven knows …
From it’s shape, it might even be nice!