Honest mistake

One could honestly publish a book
About Alfons , our myopic cook:
What a jolly old farce,
When he stuffed the maid’s arse,
Not the turkey’s (like which it did look!)

Wet

Through the limpid Bombay afternoon,
As we wait out the summer monsoon,
To relieve the ennui
I take afternoon tea,
With the lady whose clothing’s here strewn.